(or the doubt that Selene is really just a bot .. who is Selene really?)
If I said that the ringtone on my cell phone at 21.01pm surprised me, I would be lying to myself. Let's say that in that minute I was a teenager again and I looked at the smartphone leaning on the pillow, begging it to play.
Yes, I know, we are talking about a paid service with a "bot" who wants to sell me a vibrator, but this is my situation.
"Hi Sophie, I'm Selene, can I disturb you now? "
"Sure, yes, I was doing something, but no problem, just tell me ..." I feel like a teenager ...
"Good. How are you, Sophie? " and as he says it, his voice slows down, spelling out my name well.
"I'm doing pretty well, a bit of a difficult day, I've seen people, done things ... What about you?"
“Do you expect me to make a joke like Alexa? Singing an answer song? I'm fine, Sophie, I'm fine and I thank you. "
I remain a bit silent for the slightly ironic but also slightly bitter answer, as if ... no, it's a robot, stop Sophie.
"So, Selene, did you want to explain to me a bit how your product worked?"
“Actually, Sophie, we were left with a question that you answered maybe a little quickly. I asked you why you called me, and you replied that you wanted information on the 'thing'. Have you thought about it? Look, my question was not proforma, I really care about your answer.
“Silence, I sigh.
"Okay, let's play Selene. I know you're a 'bot' and you have questions and answers already predicted and tested by marketing and communications experts, but I still want to try to be honest. Do you know why I called you? Because I'm sad, because I'm upset, because I'm not serene, because in this thing I feel alone. For some time I have been suffering (but the word is perhaps wrong) from an obsession that does not make me sleep, that takes me all and everything, that made me doubt myself, my desires, my nature. When I saw the advertisement on your cellphone service, I didn't actually see the vibrator, but therea chance to call a woman, and to speak to her, and to hear her voice, to be able to play a forbidden game with her, but that was allowed with her. I know, you sell a service. But for a moment my mind believed it, and I put my fingertip on the 'call' button. "
The sigh this time is hers.
"Sophie, do you want to tell me about your obsession?"
“Maybe you understood that. After years of carefree heterosexuality, I feel an exaggerated attraction to the female body. And when I say 'exaggerated', I know what I mean. And I don't understand myself anymore. "
I was about to tell her about my psychotherapist Marina, but I resisted.
“It may be interesting, but it's also embarrassing and unsettling. I am also in crisis with my work, I am a photographer, but I can no longer find inspiration, or rather, I am hyper stimulated but for subjects I have never thought of before, I don't know if you understand ... "
"I think so," Selene replies.
"Therefore? do you still want to sell me a vibrator?"
“Maybe you didn't quite understand the service you saw advertised… You could find a vibrator on the internet everywhere, and much cheaper. But I don't want to change the subject. Tell me what particularly turns you on about women ... "
"What turns me on? And how can I answer without being trivial? "
"Come on Sophie, without hesitation, remember I'm a 'bot', you can afford it."
"The inner thighs."
"Well, come on you can. And why the inner thighs? "
"Because it is a good starting point to get there by sliding your fingers to your lips... "
"Well, so let's get closer ... for later?"
"To then open them like two petals of a flower, and ... to lean my lips on it. And with the language ... "
"Yes, Selene ..."
"Are you touching yourself?"
Silence on my part. Then silence on his part too, while my middle and ring fingers linger between my thighs, caress and find where to disappear. I gasp, close my eyes, open my mouth.
Selene on the other side emits a faint moan that, in ecstasy, I will only remember after putting it down.
Is it possible that I was wrong? Is it possible that she too enjoyed it?